Our Luke...

Before I move on to all the other fun things that have been going on (St. George, Josh's birthday, Pinteresting fun) I thought I'd finish up about our Luken Guken.  Bless his sweet little soul--! We've been home for the weekend now, and it is going so much better then I had feared.  Just got back from the follow-up appointment with the Pediatrician and he got a clean bill of health there too!  The stitches will probably take about 6-8 weeks to dissolve, but that's fine with me.  I'm taking that as a good thing cuz I'm all about his little head being good and  sealed before those puppies come out!

I've fretted all weekend about doing more posts due to a nasty comment left on my blog by some random person (never before thought about going 'private' but I do now!).  Something about negligence and self righteousness and miracles not being real.  Well, I'll own up to the pieces of that comment that may be true, but I'm not going to let the false ones bug me anymore.  Miracles are real and negligent ?--sure.  Perhaps.  Knowing what I know now would I have ever put him in that car seat unstrapped? No way!  But, if I was doing it all again without the same 20/20 backwards vision I'd probably do the some thing again.  (To clarify, he was in his car seat, unstrapped, which was clipped into the shopping cart.  When I went over a piece of molding on the floor to see a display better, the cart jigged sideways, causing the car seat to slide to the left, causing Luke to be vaulted out of this seat, and right onto the floor.)  As for being self righteous, I'm not sure what that exactly means but I sure don't think that I have done anything to warrant so many blessings--but I am SO INCREDIBLY grateful that we were blessed with our little Luke.  Someone told me that perhaps Heavenly Father has something big in store for my little man--and I'm going to hold on to that idea.  He's got some big blessings to live up to!

Since coming home, Luke has been doing awesome. He's sleeping good and is a bit more clingy then usual, but I don't mind it--I'll snuggle that boy as long as he'll let me!  I think we are slowly getting the olders back to normal too: Katelyn has stopped waking up at night saying she wants to go home, and Josh is less whiny today then he was yesterday and the day before.  We spent the morning at home today--cleaning, reading books, playing cars, playing beauty shop and just hanging out.  We hit up the pediatrician and then were right back home for afternoon home-ness.

I got in contact with IKEA.  They seem like they are going to be great to work with and I'm hopeful that their insurance will help to offset some of our medical costs.  They aren't specifically at fault, I'm not specifically at fault but between a good deal of bad luck, stupid wheels and buckles, unbuckled babys' and great things to see we landed ourselves in the ICU and I would love to use our extra money each month to save up and take a trip next spring instead of paying off our baby Luke for the next few years of our life!  I guess we'll see!!

We came home from the hospital Thursday afternoon.  Thursday was a tough day for me.  Leaving home Thursday morning with Katelyn crying just about did me in.  I got to the hospital and heard the news that we were going to get to go home and finally broke down.  Crying is very therapeutic! :)  We hung around for several hours picking up prescriptions and copies of the scans, fixing information in the computer, getting all the discharge info, and just being so amazed at how well our Luke was doing!  

Hanging out with Daddy after we got out of the ICU...

Mom's shoulder is the best place to sleep!

Finally totally detached!!

Headed home!!!

 We were home just after lunchtime and spent the afternoon chilling--sleeping, watching TV, reading books, just enjoying being all together!  We built forts in the living room and had yummy dinner-which I didn't have to prepare!

Everybody home and ready for bed--all under one roof!!

Church yesterday was tender.  Seeing all the people who have been praying and thinking about us was so good for my heart.  It's so good to be in a ward full of such great people!!  The songs in sacrament meeting made me teary, the YW in class made me happy, and all my friends made me feel so loved.  It is still unbelievable to me that this time last week I was still having some moments where I thought we might not be bringing our Luke home.  We are so blessed!

I heard a quote during all this that is beginning to make more and more sense. "I have learned that faith means trusting in advance what will only make sense in reverse." -Phillip Yancy.  Lots of things are beginning to make more sense through this lens...the timing of the whole ordeal (most Dr's, I'm told, won't do CT scans on head bumps unless there is great reason to), for one.  I'm practicing not asking 'why' but to ask 'what can I learn.'  I think that it's safe to say this was a life altering event that will change how I look at things from here on out.

Love our little Luke!!!

Birthday Boy!!

With all the hub-bub around here, let's not forget we've got a birthday boy at the house this week! Sunday, this kid turns the big number 2!!  

Sure love him!!

We're home!!

I didn't know somebody could cry so many tears--and still have tears left to cry! There are happy tears, sad tears, tears of gratitude, tears of frustration, tired tears, and sympathetic tears.  I'm sure I'm not done with my share of crying yet, but for now...WE'RE HOME!!  All of us. Under one roof. Unattached to wires, machines, and IV's.  Sitting on comfy couches and building blanket forts to have a movie afternoon.  

 

This morning was rough, but once I got to the hospital and found out we were headed home, it felt like Christmas!!

Our movie is about to begin, so I'm sure we'll talk more later, but for now, I'm going to enjoy the simple joy of home.

Things I've learned

We just got word that Luke gets to leave the ICU today--really, any time now.  What a relief! What a miracle!  Would you believe its only been 4 days? Brain surgery folks--really, truly, skin pulled back, skull sawed open, brain exposed brain surgery.  How can you not say that miracles happen?

I've learned some things here; while we wait I thought I'd share!

*NICU/PICU cribs are really great--they roll, they drop down on all sides, they elevate either or both ends.  Sort of ugly, but really functional!

*Hospital residents and fellows never leave. I mean never. I have a new appreciation for spouses and families of these dedicated healers (thanks Elena!!)

*Seeing life flight helicopters makes me literally sick to my stomach

*Miracles happen a lot--both big and small.  

*I am not a Hispanic person who lives in a trailer home in Pocatello Idaho, unlike all my hospital paperwork says

*Our adventure is going to rack up a lovely total of $70,000 +

*Lonely hours are best spent with a hubby and a mom--one should never be here alone with your sick baby

*The parent sleep rooms are really dark, and earplugs are required at times to drown out the crying

*You cannot get cell reception in the halls, in the waiting rooms, in the cafeteria, or parking structure--just in 

the patients rooms and outside

*My very favorite nurses here in the PICU have been males, except one, who was female (obviously)

*They have bathrooms all over this place!

*I LOVE the hand sanitizer they have--it's lotiony!

*These rooms are freezing!  Pack a jacket if you come to visit

*Lots of people love my little Luke--and, I guess, me too!

*People will come out of the woodwork to help--meals, mowing lawns, watching babies, taking over events, phone calls, texts, emails, prayers--everybody wants to do something to help.

*The Spirit is stronger by a NICU crib

*The two hours spent waiting to hear if your son has survived brain surgery are the worst two hours of ones life.

*The 27 minute drive to the hospital to find out if your son survived the helicopter ride are the worst 27 minutes of ones life.

*Time seems to change in the PICU--it feels like we've been here for weeks and weeks, and yet, hours seem to pass really quickly.

*The rooms across the hall have a better view

*There is ice cream in the fridge in the hospitality room--and slurpees!

*Having your family divided is rotten

*Hearing your 4 year old pray for your baby is too tender for words

*Grandpa's have a hard time focusing on teaching the first day of school when things aren't going so well at the hospital; Grandpas are also the best at asking questions

*Everything in the hospital beeps--everything!

*Reading scriptures is more powerful and effective after a good cry

*I miss my YW

*Husbands are absolutely essential to survival

*Baby smiles ARE. THE. BEST

*Aunts from far away send the best presents!

*I am blessed far beyond what I deserve--I've got a lot of work to do to give back!

*The human skull will grow back together with just a few stitches

*Throwing up after a head injury means go to the doctor...NOW!

*Prayer works!

*Harry Potter is good reading for getting your mind off things for a bit

*Sometimes crying is the best thing you can do

*The night nurses are the best

*Luke likes his eyebrows rubbed

*Luke does not like his IV's

*Every diaper is weighed before it's thrown away

*Peace is a feeling that can be ever present, ever powerful, encouraging, and strengthening all at once.  

*Faith is powerful

*Families are Forever: this is true now, but it would have also been true if Luke had left his earthly home

*Bathrooms are the most effective place to pray

*Grandmas are tirelessly supportive and attentive--they are a must as a hospital side-kick!

*Sleep is a good and bad thing

*Pinterest is good for passing hours of boredom

*The best sacrament meetings I've been to have been times when I'm wearing street clothes


*Priesthood blessings heal, and bring comfort

*Scarred heads get the girls!

*Miracles don't have to be big to be miracles--have you ever thought about the miracle of sleep? Or being about to smile? Or being able to stand up? Or cell phones? Or salt?

*Contacts are not compatible with no sleep and tears

*Soups are okay, but don't buy anything else from the cafeteria

*Heavenly Father blesses the siblings too

*Swelling goes up before it goes down

*Sodium is apparently really important to the human body

*Sleep apnea is scary--I think it's scarier when it's watched on a monitor

*Human touch is powerful medicine, for all ages!

*UPDATE!  Leaving your baby alone in the hospital is the pits--!  :(  He has moved floors and we were certainly spoiled in the ICU!!  We are waiting on one more test--results coming at 6:30 in the morning--and then I'm fighting to break free baby!! Let's bring my baby home!!

Thankful Tuesday...

This makes me happy today...

Luke's Adventure!

So, a lot has happened since my last post.  I love chronological order, but I suppose heart order should come first.  I'm sitting here in the PICU (Pediatric Intensive Care Unit) watching my sweet little Luke finally sleep.  Saturday around 4:00 he fell 4 1/2 feet out of his carseat from an IKEA shopping cart.  He appeared to be totally fine, just with a lovely goose egg.  Around 6:00 he started to throw up and that was our cue to not wait to hear back from any doctor or friend, but to just go to urgent care.  Urgent care sent us to the ER, and within 15 minutes he had stopped breathing, was intubated, had an IV (or two) and was being prepped for his very first helicopter ride!  He arrive at Primary Childrens' Hospital and was in surgery by 10:08.  Two grueling hours later we got to talk to the neurosurgeon and found out that everything went fabulously and he was expected to make a full and complete recovery.  He had unluckily landed in the one weak spot on a babies head and had a crack in his skull about 4 inches. He had also nicked two arteries and was bleeding into his brain.  Babies have about 4 cups of blood in their bodies, and the surgeon suctioned 1 1/2 cups out--just from his head. They actually sawed off the skull, cleaned out around the brain, and put everything back together again. Talk about humpty dumpty!!  The surgeon informed us that if we had been two hours longer we wouldn't have a baby to take home.

We set up camp in the PICU and his recovery has been slow, but steady. We've battled some apnea issues, decreased sodium levels, head leakage, lots of sleepiness and MAJOR swelling.  He looks like he got in one heck of a fight with somebody!  He's eaten on his own--YEAH!-- and has finally found his thumb so is thankfully sleeping as soundly as he can.  He's passing all his neurological tests and he's hitting his goals.  I don't think we will be getting out of the PICU tomorrow, but we're optimistic about Wednesday.  Things can always change, and can change so fast, but currently the talk is that we might be home by the weekend.

Thanks for everybody's thoughts and prayers.  There have been tears all around, and quite a few of them have come because of the love and support from everybody.  Offers to watch our kids, water our garden, feed our fish (which consequently bit the dust during our St. George vacation), bring us food, books and reading material, sit with us, sit with Luke....they have been so appreciated and helpful.  Knowing that there are prayers going up to Heaven all over the nation for our little Luke really touches our hearts. I had a conversation with Heavenly Father (I've had lots actually) and I was willing to give him up, but feel so thankful that I don't have to.

Our Luke, one day before the accident. Look at that beautifully shaped head! :)  Mike gave him a blessing before we left for the hospital and promised a full and complete recovery.  This is the Luke that is going to be coming home with us!

At the hospital, before everything went absolutely nuts.  I still thought at this point that they were going to send us home thinking I was some crazy over-protective Mom.  We had been watching for all the signs--pupils, funny behavior, sleepiness, etc. Until he threw up the first time, he was just normal as could be.  Within 45 minutes of throwing up, however, his hematoma had almost quadrupled and he was on his way to Primary Childrens.  I can safely say I am sure those hours were the worst I've experienced.

 After surgery.  They weren't sure about neck and spinal injuries, so he was in his neck brace for a while.  This was the first time we got to see him since he was being wheeled into surgery.  Brain surgery on my fourth month old...

 Bless Primary Childrens' Hospital. They have trauma down to an art.  They checked him in before he had even arrived at the hospital, only under a fake, computer assigned name. This allowed them to have everything ready to go--no papers to sign, no questions to ask, the blood bank was already ready, the surgeons were waiting.  This was a miracle in and of itself.  Luke is now nicknamed, "Triple Z!"

He's free of the neck brace! Yeah!!

This was a good moment. After waiting all day for him to wake up enough to remember to breath on his own, the ventilator finally came out! Hurray!!

 Avert your eyes, oh ye weak of stomach!  This is one narly scar!!

Too many things poking out of this baby!  So sad!!

 The swelling, as it was supposed to, just keeps going up and up. All the cat scans and CT scans (are those the same things?) come back totally normal and look great.  The human body is so amazing!  As of tonight, he can only open one eye.  I hope the swelling goes down enough soon for him to be able to open both.

 He found his thumb.  So soothing!!