Moving on...

So, we've had some fun around here, and I really should start posting about someone beside Luke--and I'm sure I will, one of these days!!  I just can't seem to finish it all up, just yet.  Sometimes (most times) when I close my eyes I see horrible things--things made of nightmares.  Nurses pumping the oxygen to keep him alive. The words, "Make him cry, Mom.  Crying babies are live babies." Watching him being wheeled into surgery. That blasted waiting room phone.  CT scans and scared, swollen shut eyes.  And maybe the worst, my sweet boy hitting that floor over and over again. I've been singing a lot of primary songs in my head these days--if primary songs are the trick to getting bad thoughts out of you head, they'll work in this situation too!  And you know what,  I've also been having lots and lots of happy pictures replace those scary ones.  A sweet, smiling baby.  The sight of my Dad coming to visit over and over again.  Late night hour long hospital visits from my brother and his wife.  Finally getting to hold my baby.  Finally getting to hold my baby when it doesn't hurt him anymore! Playing with Katelyn and Josh in the sibling rooms.  Breakfast, lunch, and dinner with Mike outside, eating gross hospital food.  Katelyn's prayers for Luke.  Pinteresting the hours away with Mom.

Yesterday was fast Sunday, and is it any wonder that both Mike and I fasted out of gratitude.  It was an emotional day for me, thinking about where we were 3 weeks ago and seeing where we are now.  Last night we had our quarterly family fireside and talked about tender mercies and miracles.  We talked about how even trials can be tender mercies and that if we have the eyes to see and the heart to feel we can see the Lords hand in our life and feel the peace that He so badly wants to give us.  I know that's true.  As I reflect on our whole experience, I find something new each time that tells me that there were tender mercies all throughout. The timing of the whole thing.  The nurse that was on duty the first night I left my sweet baby there alone.  The friends who called, texted, brought dinner, watching kids.  All the times people told me about the prayers their children were offering.  The trauma admit program at the hospital. The social worker assigned to our case. Our proximity to the hospital.  The availability of a life flight helicopter.  The fact that they serve cream of wheat for breakfast.  Hugs from my favorite people in the ward.  We were so truly and deeply blessed it's overwhelming.

Luke is doing great.  Really, really great.  It's going so much better then I had planned on, I feel downright spoiled.  Sleep is a bit of an issue, but I don't know how much of that is due to pain or due to bad habits being formed.  He's playing well, is really happy most of the time, is eating good and still hitting all those neurological goals.  His stitches are starting to come out and his incision looks really great.  We can finally get it wet so he's not quite as smelly anymore either! :)  The olders are doing great too.  We're taking more of those little moments to play around here--Mike and Katelyn has been throwing a lot of paper airplanes and Josh and I are reading a lot of books.  My house is slowly coming back together after our CRAZY August, and we've been canning like it's our job!  Everyday I look at Luke and thank Heavenly Father for the miracle of his life.  And, what is more, I thank Heavenly Father for the things I've learned and felt, for the way we've grown.  One of these days I'm going to be able to close my eyes and not see horrible images, but in the meantime they serve to remind me how blessed we are!!